ASKING FOR HELP

There are those that believe a preacher simply preaches the message she needs to hear. Perhaps there is some truth to this, and perhaps a writer only writes what they need to read… but are any of you stressed this season?

I wish I was not – I truly do, I wish that Christmas was all magic and that winter was all wonderland. I wish that school breaks brought nothing but the joy I remember from childhood and that gifts magically appeared under the tree. I wish I was always on the same page with everyone and I wish that I could just be helpful and caring and loving to everyone.

I am, however, having trouble with all of these things.

There are days when I think I must be the only one who allows negativity to get the better of me, or the only one who over reacts and causes fights with people. It helps a little to know I am not the only one, though. So I imagine there are a few others like me out there – maybe because I need to.

I blame the Bible! Okay, this may seem like a stretch but hear me out… I try to live my life following in the footsteps and teaching of Jesus and all those wise prophets and holy folks from the Bible. 

Somewhere along the line Sunday school or sermons left the impression on me that to be holy, to be good, one had to be without sin. If I want to be Jesus I have to love and accept everyone, right? I never feel anger or worry or fear, I never fight with anyone and I respect my parents, widows and orphans while healing the sick and finding the lost, and then I am a good person.

Like many religious people I have suffered from a black and white way of looking at the world. As an aside, google this, it is fascinating, the more religious you are the less you are the more you suffer from this… And so if I could not be perfect, I have failed, right?

The problem is, being depressed, asking for help, getting angry are all very real parts of the religious journey, even for our Biblical heroes. The prophet Elijah threw in the towel and went to hide in a cave and be alone because of the pressure he was under. Jonah was afraid to go and preach in Ninevah. Jesus himself left the crowds and tried to hide by walking along the seashore, got angry at temple salesmen and Samaritan women, and felt completely out of his depth when begging God to let him live in the Garden of Gethsemane. Islam has its own version of all of this when you consider that the Prophet Mohammed needed to get away from everyone regularly and headed to the cave at Mira. In fact, it was there that Gabriel gave him the Qur’an.

But this is not the way we usually look at our biblical figures. We usually see them as strong and sure role models who call us to be just like them and leave our worries behind. And when we buy into that it is only going to make it worse.

I know this is not very Christmassy, but I think the whole Christmas season builds stress in some of us and so I am hoping that maybe this helps a few people think about it a different way. Jesus was not born into a world to be perfect, he was born into an imperfect world as an imperfect person who happened to have a plan to help us do this life thing better.

If we let go of the myth that we, and everything else, can be perfect, perhaps we will be able to find it easier to deal with the negative emotions of the season.

Happy Holidays!

Happy Holidays!

I don’t mind when people say that to me. After all, December is the season of Holidays! There is a reason that Christians celebrate this high holy feast in December, but it might not be what you think.

So here is a quick rundown so you can see just how chock full of religious significance this month is. On

The Buddhists celebrate Bodhi day on December 6^th, the day when Gautama Buddha attained enlightenment while sitting under a Bodhi Tree.

December 21^st is the Pagan and Wiccan celebration of Yule, the shortest day of the year and traditionally when the sun child was reborn.

The solstice is also celebrated in the Chinese Festival Dongzhi, the Hopi festival of Soyal, and the Persian Zoroastrian festival of Yalda.

December begins with Hanukkah, the Jewish festival of lights and ends with Hogmanay, the Scottish Festival of the New Year.

Christians celebrate Christmas because it is the day when the Ancient Romans celebrated Saturnalia, the return of the Sun.

Even the Secular Humanists celebrate Christmas as some sort of festival of the best of human nature.

All in all Happy Holidays seems like a very appropriate response to all of this. I have in fact left a few out. And there are some like the Hindu Diwali or the Muslim Eid-al Fitr that occur on different calendars than ours and so sometimes happen in December and sometimes not.

These people who stand up and fight for putting Christ back in Christmas are seeing the trees instead of the forest.

What is really happening here is a very human reaction to the dark. We all remember it from when we were kids and the lights went off... we need assurance that they will go on again. Well, the world gets colder and darker, and then, one day, the light comes back on... and we celebrate.

Freud and Jung would have called it something buried in our subconscious, a human reaction to bad things by believing in good things.

So think about winter festivals as times of hope. Things can get better. Life will return. Goodness will triumph... this is the root message of every festival. And, in case you did not recognize it, the main message of Jesus.

I realize that some people feel a sort of empirical triumphalism about Christianity and want the entire world to convert. I do not personally feel there is any reason for this, but I am not really trying to focus there. Instead I am trying to say that this is a time of year we should celebrate with each other.

There is literally no one who does not celebrate something in December. Now that Christmas has been so fully embraced by the secular world and is seen as a sort of Charles Dickens ode to the goodness of people, everyone celebrates.

What is not to like about new life? What is not to like about turning the corner and the days getting longer? 

What is not to like about gift giving and feasting and celebrating?

Don’t get me wrong, I actually love winter and it has become so short these days that we really have nothing to complain about. But I also think that human beings should celebrate whenever possible. I think it makes us better people to be able to look on the bright side or to be able to see darkness and say, you know what, let’s have a party anyway.

It is after all what Canadians do best.

So I love that all of the holidays coincide with the darkest days and the colder weather. It really feels right to me. And if anyone wants to say Happy Holidays I will just assume they mean them all.

Christmas

Well, it is time for my annual rant about putting Christ back into Christmas.

Not that I want you to, rather, I want people to stop saying we should.

I mean, really, what part of Christmas and the real world we live in do you really think is bad? Do the people that are worried about the way we celebrate the season dislike the light shows on people’s houses which bring such joy and wonder? Are we all complaining that the music on the radio and in the mall is about giving, and loving, and sleigh rides, and visiting family and all of those dangerous ideals? What about this whole giving gifts to other people and showing our appreciation, surely that is the slippery slope to moral bankruptcy.

Sorry, I let a little sarcasm slip in there. The thing is, there is nothing about the season of Christmas as it has been adopted by our culture that goes against anything I believe in. Although, I should point out that if you really feel you need to buy someone a car for Christmas, or a thousand dollar piece of jewelry then you might have a problem recognizing limits; and for the record I would like an orange Jeep.

But at its heart everything about this time of year is good, and reflects values that we all want, that we all need, and that are in keeping with every single religious point of view; including secular humanism. We are talking about recognizing value, we are talking about giving gifts, we are talking about family time, and we are talking about feasts and parties… all good things.

The other thing we tend to forget is that the ways of the world influence our way of understanding our faith, and that is not a bad thing. Take the curious story of Santa Clause.

Way back in the early church there was a Bishop, Nicolaus, who was the patron saint of the poor and of Sailors. His Saint Day is December 6^th and he was known throughout history as the one who brought presents and filled stockings. But Christmas was no big deal in the church; just another Sunday service with readings about the Virgin Birth.

Then some American Poets got a hold of the idea of Saint Nicholas… then Coca Cola one upped them and invented him as the jolly old elf in red fur who brings presents, particularly a case of Coke… and it caught the public’s attention. Santa Clause became the centre of Christmas and Christmas became a bigger and bigger deal.

I am of course condensing history into a paragraph so you know it is slightly distorted, but consider this, before the poem “The Night Before Christmas” no one thought Santa brought gifts. Before Coca Cola and The New York Times and Norman Rockwell, no one knew what Santa looked like. Santa has evolved from Saint Nicholas because of the corporate, secular, advertising world…. But what they did was make Christmas popular… and the churches needed to get on the bandwagon.

So here is the rub, post 1930, churches started upping the ante, adding things to their celebration of Christmas. The protestant mainline churches never had a Christmas Eve service until the 50’s sometimes not until the 60’s for example…

So because the world started Christmas shopping, the churches started celebrating Christ’s birth.

The thing is, there is this feeling out there, no matter who you are and what you are talking about, that the world is us and them. It never is. Everything is tied together in unexpected ways. EVERYTHING. And when we spend our energy trying to convince people they aare doing the right thing for the wrong reasons, we are fighting a losing battle for no reason.

So put up your silly Holiday trees, wish everyone compliments of the season, whatever you want to do… it doesn’t matter to me because I am with Dickens on this one…

“There are many things from which I might have derived good, by which I have not profited, I dare say… Christmas among the rest. But I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round… as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys… I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!”

Easter can be a celebration of hope for everyone

SOCIAL STUDIES - Published Monday April 13th, 2009

A few years ago Europeans ended up in North America. I know the Vikings were here first, but let's ignore them; they actually just made this an outpost and moved on. Europeans came to stay.

Now the thing is, we were bullies. I blame alcohol and gunpowder for giving us an inflated sense of self-importance.

For the most part, the people who settled here were also very religious -- often more religious than the people they left behind -- and persecuted for it.

We still feel that echo in our society today. Like it or not, all of our government, all of our moral code, all of our legal code, and most of our holidays are based on the Christian faith. I think that the best thing we can do as a culture is admit that; and live into it, so that we might make some real sense out of it.

At Christmas we have fights about manger scenes and decorated trees. We change Merry Christmas to "Happy Holidays" and we try to fight against our heritage instead of asking where we have been, where we are now, and where we should be going.

Canada was Christian; unambiguously so. And because of that, Easter was a big civic holiday. From a Christian point of view, this is the major festival of the church celebrating when Jesus, because of his relationship with God, came back from the dead.

Now, if we really wanted to understand our heritage as a country we would ask where Christians got this idea for a celebration from . . . they stole it. Pagan cultures, and just so you know "pagan" was the Latin word for "rural," always celebrated the spring. This was true whether we are talking about ancient Rome from whence Christian culture came, ancient Chinese culture, or ancient Druidic culture. Winter is harsh, scary, dark and lifeless. But when the sun comes back, and the crocus bloom, there is something to celebrate.

In Ancient Rome there was a celebration for the rise of the Sun. Why not borrow this, and make it the rise of the Son, and keep a lot of the same rituals? In fact, most springtime pagan rituals are present in our current Easter celebrations, whether inside or outside of church. Kindling the new fire was part of spring in most cultures. In church we light a new Christ candle, in Wiccan and pagan religious observances today they light bonfires, and in Moncton we light barbecues. It is not so different; we are all trying to say the same thing: Spring is here.

Rabbits are symbols of procreativity. Eggs are symbols of birth. Lilies are symbols of growth. Easter, as a name for the weekend was even taken from the Druids who worshiped the goddess Eostre, the mother goddess who brought new life back into the world each vernal equinox, each spring.

That is where we have been; but let's look at where we are.

Canada is as multicultural a place as you could get. Even smaller cities like Metro Moncton are becoming increasingly diverse. We have representatives of every race, of every religion, of every culture and of every class within our bounds. At the same time, we exist within the civil framework of Christianity, so how are we going to reinvent that framework so it fits not only who we have become, but where we are going as an increasingly intermingled society?

I have already hinted at that by suggesting we return to the original meaning of Easter -- which was spring.

We do not have to abandon anything to do this, we just have to see it in fresh ways and add more to our celebrations. Spring means new life, and this fits with the Christian conception of what it is about, the Hindu conception of what it is about, the Buddhist conception of what it is about, the secular humanist conception of what it is about, and even the Molson beer ads.

I am serious about that. Molson beer ads pretty much define our civic identity in this country. I am Canadian. And the best spring ad they ever had was saying we have two seasons in Canada, winter, and patio. . .

The reason that we can reclaim this as a season and holiday that is important to every single one of us lies in looking behind the concept of new life. What is it we are really celebrating? We are celebrating hope.

I am building on last week's column where I suggested that there is a lot that seems to go wrong with the world, both collectively and individually. I said last week that we need to counter that with optimism, with positivism; it is too easy to let the negative state of mind influence what we think and do.

Well, in trying to heed my own advice and have a positive outlook for the week, I realize that at the core, we need something even deeper, we need hope.

And there is no reason not to have hope. Everything around us displays a sense that there will always be something new, something different, and something better. Sure it might take more than a lifetime, and there might be a lot of disasters in between. But we as a society would do better to live out of hope.

"God's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know that we, as a people, will get to the Promised Land," vouched Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. the night before he was assassinated.

He never saw it, but Obama became the first black president -- by running a campaign with one simple message, hope. By claiming he stood for "change we can believe in" Obama suggested that something better was on the horizon.

Well, it is. Believe it. That is the message we need to take into every corner of our society if we want to make this world a better place.

Do we dupe ourselves with our generosity?

SOCIAL STUDIES - Published Monday December 29th, 2008

Okay, I realize that I will get in a lot of trouble for this column; but it comes out of a couple of experiences and conversations I have had lately.

The first experience was going online to shop the World Vision Catalogue and see what it is possible to buy for people in developing countries. It is an amazing catalogue. My father is a doctor, so we decided instead of buying him a Christmas gift we would "stock a medical centre" in his name.

It is kind of cool, and yet, the first thing you notice in browsing the site is that spending $100 is like a drop in the bucket. The need is so great, and the impact of our giving so small, that it is truly heart wrenching.

And I know for a fact, having spent a month in a Guatemalan Refugee Camp that these are the type of people who would give their last meal to you if you showed up as a guest.

The second experience I recently had was a serious conversation with a friend who feels a little "Scroogy" about the whole Christmas scene. The real problem came about 15 minutes into me trying to get her into a more jingle bells sort of mood; when I realized much to my dismay, that she was right.

Here is what got to me: I wrote a feature about generosity in the city and discovered some pretty amazing things about how generous we all are; I was feeling pretty good about it all.
After all, we give enough to enable 1,700 Christmas baskets to be distributed by Headstart. We have donated more than 4,000 turkeys through the annual Sue Stultz Turkey Drive. It is all great, right?

But here is a quick reality check. What about the New Year?

If a family can't afford a turkey dinner at Christmas, how are they going to celebrate the change of year? Or in fact, pay for heat in February?

You see, 4,700 turkeys says a lot about generosity, but not a whole lot about justice. What kind of a world is it that has at least 5,000 people in Moncton unable to meet basic necessities like a turkey? Why is poverty so rampant?

If you look in the homes section of the paper you will find that it is hard to buy anything under $200,000 and that the average home that they feature runs in the $400,000 range. Even these homes are only three bedroom and two bath. I heard the other day that the average housing tax bill in Moncton is just over $2,000 a year, which means that the "average" Moncton home is worth a little over $200,000.

Yet we allow such extreme swings in income that people don't have the money for food.
Trust me, it is not that these people have done anything wrong, or at least, most of them have not; they simply struggle day by day to eke out an existence in a world that truly makes it hard for the average person.

I have heard many a people look down their noses at others who are poor, or on welfare, or in trouble. I have been all three in my life; and I have also been wealthy and secure. I can tell you without a doubt that it is mostly random chance that causes one's life situation.

I was born in North America to wealthy parents and I was generally healthy. Did I deserve any of that? Or did I just luck out? And because of my luck I now live an affluent lifestyle. Sure, some of it is the old me pulling myself up by the bootstraps. I went out and worked for what I have.
But I also realize that happiness is a razor wire away from despair; and there is not much I can do to tip the scales one way or another. A random car accident for example, might change everything.

So back to generosity at Christmas; the problem with which is that it is so short-sighted. In fact, it is incredibly short-sighted; so much so that it allows us to feel we have truly made a difference and therefore walk away.

I give a turkey once a year and that excuses me from all manner of social injustices; right?
We all realize how silly this sounds. We are all capable, however, of fooling ourselves into believing that being nice once a year is all it takes to change the world.

Me too; I have always argued that Christmas is the best of what our consumerist culture is capable of; and proof that deep down we are all generous and big hearted. But I am beginning to allow doubt to creep into my overly cheer filled view of Christmas giving.

I don't mean to point fingers, and I certainly don't want to stop any of the good work that is done at Christmas. I do, however, believe we have to re-examine the idea that it is enough.

If we are going to survive as a species we need to do some serious soul searching around values and identity. We need to stop thinking there is such a thing as us and them. We need to realize that to have justice and equality we really do have to give something up.

I for one believe we can do it.