Work and kids and family; running a household and having hobbies; it seems hard to talk about these things without getting in some sort of trouble, but I think it might be necessary for us to rethink some things.
I do not think the way we live is the way we should be living.
Not that we are not trying as many different variations as possible. I could use my own family as a subset here. I have four brothers, and they have amazingly varied careers. Some have remarried and created blended families as my own father did. Some are professionals and some are just starting out.
Out of the five of us, or 10 if you count spouses, nine people work.
I have seen possibly every variation of having to figure out work schedules and household management and day care that you can imagine; from which I have determined that there are no good answers.
My wife and I tried working opposite each other for a couple of years. I would work one day and she would work the next, or she would work from eight to four, I would work from four till midnight; and then we would switch. Then there is the five days of day care. Even when one spouse does not work, as is the case for one of my brothers, the other spouse works hard and long enough that you still never see each other.
I do not want to raise the hackles of the feminists who think this is going to become a sexist rant -- but I don't think society should run like this. One income should be enough to run a household. It should not matter which person works.
Mind you, I don't think anyone should have to work any more than 35 hours a week to earn enough money to run a household. So perhaps both could work, but only work half time.
You may think this is just crazy dreaming, but for the most part economics are completely made up and we could in fact change the prices of things, or the wages earned, to make it work. An example of this would be my house. My wife, kids and I live quite comfortably in a three bedroom house on the Salisbury Road, which costs us exactly one quarter of a three bedroom house in Dieppe.
You have to trust me on this, but I am pretty certain there is no real explanation for the $300,000 dollar price difference.
The truth is that our economy is completely based on artificial measures of what things are worth -- the so called, 'market value' which really means what someone can get away with charging. At some point the amount charged began to make it impossible to live decently on your salary.
We are talking about 10,000 years of settled human history before someone decided to start making it nearly impossible to raise a family, own your own house, and get around. Never mind the astronomical price it would cost to take a vacation.
Also false, by the way, a little over a decade ago I went to Walt Disney World, stayed in a hotel, bought food in restaurants, bought souvenirs, and spent a little over $2,000. Now the same trip would run about $10,000.
So two people almost have to work; and then the kids need to be in day care. But we also have to work longer and harder than ever, with more economic and cultural stress; so for the two hours we do get to see our own kids every day we are either too tired, too stressed, or too rushed to be genuinely present.
It is a never ending circle too; we end up too tired at the end of the day to figure out how to get supper on the table; and if you are leaving work at five to rush to get the kids across town at five, and they are going to bed at seven -- how are you possibly going to cook within a reasonable amount of time? So you go to a restaurant.
Now, there is a costly way to escape stress and an unhealthy way as well. Better get a gym membership to use for those two or three hours you might manage to have for yourself. But the restaurants and gym are costing so much now you need to work even harder . . .
I am not suggesting we go back to a divided world in which men are the breadwinners and women run the household, but there has to be a better way to find life balance, and I think it has to begin with how we work. Or at the very least, what we earn.
Or perhaps we need to reassess what we 'have.'
Do we need as much stuff? Is that what is causing us to have to work so hard? Maybe it is the new car every couple of years, or the cost of replacing electronic gadgets every two years. Perhaps it is because we all need to instantly have furniture right out of Better Homes and Gardens.
There are a number of things that have gone out of whack in society to be sure. The problem is that we really have no idea what the long term consequences are. We already know that there are more divorces, more latchkey kids, more violence, and more crime than ever before. What will it be like when the next generation of kids, the one that has no real attachment to family or place, and any long term traditions or history, ends up taking over?
I was so looking forward to capitalism failing; and now they seem to be resurrecting it. I really wish we could all wake up and find a better way.
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